My body will never be good enough for you,
Be slim enough for you,
Be starved enough for you,
Be so deprived of food that my bones are almost showing and the life force that is flowing through my veins is slowly slowing.
Is that what you want?
In search of perfection and ideal, to sacrifice meals and be something that I’m not.
Something that I never have been.
Have I ever been slim?
Even when I’m not fat, my body likes a layer of protection that will never be shifted,
I’m curvy, not flat, I’m soft, I’m protected, I’m happy with that.
Why aren’t you?
Is it too much to ask that you appreciate me?
Appreciate the genetic hand I’ve been dealt and allow me to love me
Without your judgement.
Without your disapproving glances, your sizest stances, all I want is to learn to see myself as I truly am.
And if I saw my body through your eyes I’d be forever unhappy.
Sophie Victoria Manley 
We have so many more gifts than a perfect fit body to be loved.
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Yes, and about choosing to see what those gifts are, and appreciating the value in them instead, it’s just hard sometimes when people’s first impression is of your exterior, and it’s hard when close ones think they’re trying to help by suggesting you diet or ‘shouldn’t eat that’. But thanks xx
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I have similar dissonance between mental images and the lived body. I’m taking steps to inhabit my body more so that I resonate with how I feel rather than how I look (to others).
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Good for you, yeah I get what you mean, take a step back into yourself and live through your eyes rather than through everyone elses.. or what you assume they see anyway!
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Anyone who judged you based on your body composition, needs to take a close look at their reason for doing it Soph. It’s a poisonous trait….and a waste. People judge people based on so many things. Try and know that perfection is feeling completely happy – with yourself.
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Perfection doesn’t exisit. Being skinny is a way of life, and unless you enjoy deprivation, and a full time commitment to maintaining it….it won’t last.
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You have a beautiful strong healthy body which works really well! You get so much from it. It doesn’t deserve you being ever bothered about anyone’s judgement of it xxx
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Thanks Sam! Yeah I’m definitely getting closer to really believing that in my head. I agree about the ‘enjoying deprivation to be skinny’, it’s very true. In order to be really slim I would have to constantly deprive myself, and I don’t want to do that, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to do that. So instead I must come to terms with the body and mind that I have, which I am. Thanks, yes I know, my poor body being constantly insulted by my own mind haha. I wrote this poem in a moment of anger, but generally my friends really don’t care about my weight and don’t judge me or make it an issue which is what really matters! xxxxx
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